Five Minute Friday: Comfort

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, or over thinking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Comfort

START

Somehow I got out of the habit of not writing for Five Minute Friday. I actually missed the comfort of knowing that once a week I could just let the words spill out of me without over thinking what I was going to post and if it was going to be epic.

I don’t know about you, but I often find comfort in some of the smallest things. One area, in particular, is habit and continuity. I like having things planned out, so when something is already planned out for me, it’s (usually) even better! I also find comfort in familiarity. I’m probably not alone in these comforts.

Lately I’ve been reaching to food again for comfort and having a really hard time breaking that habit. I’m working on it, and I’m also looking at getting my medications adjusted, because I’m pretty sure that they are contributing to the increased appetite. I’m about halfway to my ultimate weight loss goal, so I don’t want something adding to the already difficult road that I am on.

So what do you find comfort in? Are your comforts positive, negative or a little bit of both. Obviously, I have a little bit of both. That’s probably normal, too.

STOP

Read other Five Minute Friday posts on the topic of ‘Comfort’.

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Life Lately

This is long, but I won’t apologize. You have been warned! In my defense, there’s a lot of words in my head that need to get out since I haven’t been blogging regularly.

Habits are mostly good to have. I’m a creature of habit. I’ve written about it in the past, so I won’t dwell on the subject. Blogging is a good habit for me to have, but I’m finding that it’s also a habit that is, unfortunately, easily broken. Life has been busy since the holidays with no sign of letting up. That’s okay, though! Keeping busy is usually good for me because it keeps me from getting back into bad habits, like snacking, staying up too late or sleeping too much when it’s not night time. Those things usually trigger depression, which I have still been battling lately, as well.

So thoughts have been forming in my mind, but I just haven’t taken the time to get them out of my head. They’re mostly random thoughts and not very lengthy, so they end up in my personal Facebook, but I should probably be sharing them in my Blog Facebook, as well. Oddly enough, there’s several thoughts that I will post in this blog instead of on Facebook, even though this blog is public. I guess I feel that my blog is more of a selected audience, and the people who take the time to read it should be “treated” with something a little more…I don’t know…special?

What’s been going on with me? You know, New Year’s Resolutions and all, those things that I say that I don’t make but subconsciously I do? I guess as long as I don’t write them down, I don’t feel the guilt of failure if I don’t succeed. I have been trying to get back into working out. I started slacking in October, so I’m jumping back on now. I have no doubt that the lack of exercise and reverting back to bad eating habits is what has slowed my weight loss. I maintained pretty much the whole month of December and half of January. I’m not complaining, but maintaining is not where I want to be. I did that for many years already!

Shortly after the New Year, I decided to go for a Couch to 5K plan (C25K) and found an app on my phone to help me. I’ve tried jogging in the past and didn’t get very far with it. This time I’m trying it on a treadmill so that I HAVE to jog or fall flat on my face since the belt is moving that much faster. I started on Monday, January 7th and felt incredibly accomplished after finishing the first day! I was feeling so accomplished that I decided to do a little strength training afterward. I did a few sets on a few machines and was on the last one before it was going to be time to head to the showers. IT was the Compound Row – one of my favorite machines! I can row like nobody’s business, doing 2-3 sets of 50. I was halfway through a second rep when I felt my back seize up and OMG THE PAIN!

I had a disc in my lower back rupture in 2005 that caused tremendous pain for about 6 months, as well as nerve damage to my sciatic nerve. I had back surgery that year, which cured the worst of the pain, but I have about 2-4 flare ups a year. This was one of those flare ups. By Wednesday, the pain was excruciating, so I went to the doctor, and she referred me to the spine clinic. I don’t know why I never looked into it sooner since I have had had major surgery on my back, but meh…that’s here nor there now.

The pain had mostly subsided by the following Monday, so I went for Day 2 of the C25K, and had an appointment with the spine clinic that morning. X rays showed that I had no major damage but have some “arthritic changes” in my lower back, and the flare ups are common for people who have had back surgery like I have, usually due to scar tissue. The doctor wasn’t concerned that the disc had ruptured again but suggested that I try physical therapy to build a stronger core in the hopes of lessening the frequency, duration and level of the flare ups that I am bound to experience.

Yesterday was Day 3 of the C25K, which technically wraps up the first of 8 weeks, even though my first week was split up into 2. I’m getting up at 4:30am MWF to get to the gym to do this. I am SO not a morning person! Yesterday was also my physical therapy consult. I’ll be doing that 2 days a week for at least a month. I’m also going to water aerobics on Thursdays after work, and also planning to meet a group of post-op weight loss surgery people twice a month on Saturdays.

Hopefully all this means I’ll be too busy to snack, be depressed and sleep too much! That’s my life lately 🙂

“Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it.” – Thaddeus Golas

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Sunday Scribblings: Heal


On Sundays, I am starting to participate in Sunday Scribblings, a weekly writing prompt challenge. There are no rules within the challenge, however I am imposing the same rules that I follow for Five Minute Friday: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, or over thinking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Heal

START

How do you truly begin to heal when the pain on the inside has not been fixed? Sure, the wounds can close over, and the scars can begin to fade, but if it still hurts inside you will never heal.

What if you can’t find the remedy to heal the ailment? You’ve searched all over and every time you think you’ve found the cure, the wound tears open again.

When did the trouble begin? You try to remember when the hurt began but never seem to find the cause, therefore you fear that you’ll never find the remedy to heal.

Who caused the misery that you feel? Maybe you know, maybe you only have an idea, maybe it was a mixture of causes or maybe the memory is too old to remember.

Where does the tenderness reside? This you know, but you fear it’s beginning to spread.

Why does it still hurt? Until you can find the Who, What, When, Where and How, it will always hurt and never fully heal, but still you keep trying to find the solution.

Never give up fighting. Never give up seeking. Never give up trying.

Never give up. 

STOP

Read other Sunday Scribblings posts on the topic of ‘Heal’.

During the month of November, I am participating in the National Blog Posting Month, also known as NaBloPoMo, hosted by BlogHer. Most likely I am following these suggested prompts, but I might just get crazy and change things up every once in a while. I‘m one wild and crazy gal! 

NaBloPoMo November 2012

 

31 Days of Journaling Prompts: Balance

Day 2: Balance

Ah, balance. I’m not sure how balance ended up being the second on my list of journaling prompts. Perhaps it’s because my subconscious knew that I need to work on finding balance in my life. Lately I’ve not been content with some things in my life. It’s not that I’m unhappy but more along the lines of feeling like I need to get myself together. I’ve been reading and studying the Bible more lately, and I can honestly say that I feel like it is helping!  I’m finding God speaking to me through the words that I read and comforting me in the areas where I am not feeling content. It’s amazing how the answers seem to come when you’re open and ready to hear them.

Another balance that I’ve been working on is balancing my eating and exercising. As a compulsive overeater, I often turn to food for comfort. While weight loss surgery has helped this some, I will most likely always have this addiction. I find that if I recognize the problem that I am experiencing, I can sometimes find an alternative way of dealing with it that does not involve food. Journaling in my handwritten journal seems to be the best way to deal with it, but I don’t always turn to it. I’ve also found that keeping busy in the evenings will usually keep me from snacking. Watching tv and reading in bed is usually the worst time for me in regards to snacking, and those are two of my favorite things to do in the evening! When I exercise in the evening it usually helps curb my appetite, too. It’s win-win when I don’t find excuses not to exercise.

Balancing everything in life is a constant struggle that we all have to deal with. My tendency to take on too much at one time usually stems from boredom, and I overcompensate by looking for things to do and finding too much. Before I know it, I feel so overwhelmed that I can’t keep it all going, and I end up dropping everything. What comes next? Boredom…and the cycle begins again. I’m usually way into it before I realize that the cycle has restarted. Surely I’m not the only one who experiences this. We have to learn to prioritize our opportunities and learn to say, ‘No’ to the ones that don’t make the top of the list.

“Everyone spends their lives trying to balance their world between good and evil.” – Laurell K. Hamilton 

What do you do to keep in balance? Has there been a time in your life that you’ve taken on too much and just can’t keep going? 

Read more about the 31 Days of Journaling Prompts
Today’s recommended 31 Day Blogger: 31 Days To A Healthier Life @ Eclectic What Not

Today I Become A Butterfly

At this moment, this caterpillar is turning into a butterfly. I am writing this in advance to post when I go into surgery. I’ve kept my surgery quiet to most people, with the exception of close friends and family because of the judgments and opinions of others, most who don’t know me well.

I’ve battled weight issues for as long as my memory takes me. I’ve been on countless food programs in hopes of big changes. A few times I have been successful but the weight usually comes back eventually…and then some. I first looked into having weight loss surgery in 2002, but the insurance I had at the time wouldn’t cover it. I looked into it again last November and went through the process. This time I was approved!

I have been involved in support groups and done my research. I know what I am getting myself into. Everyone knows someone who knows someone who has heard that someone has died from this surgery or had complications or ended up back in the hospital and so on. I know the risks. There are also risks involved in living the kind of life that I’ve been living up until this point, too.

For those who might be interested, I am having Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass surgery. I will be in surgery for about 2 hours (starting at 7:30am Central Time) and released the next day if all goes well. I’ll be out of work for about 2 weeks.

And so my secret is revealed. I’ve wanted to post about this for as long as I’ve had this blog, but I’ve been afraid. I realize that photos of me will soon reveal that SOMETHING has happened, so it’s not like I can keep this a secret forever.

If you’re reading this, please pray for me. I’m going to need a lot of encouragement. So far, I’ve received kind words from most everyone, but of course the few negative words always seem to outweigh the positive ones.

“In you, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in your righteousness.” – Psalm 31:1

Note: If you have had any weight loss surgery or contemplating surgery, please feel free to contact me directly. I am an Admin on a Closed Facebook Support Group for women where we post positive thoughts, encouraging words and healthy ideas to share with each other.