It’s about time I reprise this blog. For way too long, I have felt as if I didn’t have anything worth writing. I worried too much about what people would think about my writing, if anyone at all was reading and thinking too much about a blog being like a business.
This blog is not my job. This blog is my creative outlet.
Not long ago, a co-worker said that she was asked to describe her co-workers. I don’t know the context of the conversation, but what my co-worker shared has stayed with me. She said that she described me as someone who isn’t afraid of trying something new and that she wishes she could be like that.
What? Really? Me? I tend to think that I am someone who is indecisive and has to think everything out before making a decision…sometimes to the point of making the decision so big that it becomes pointless. Am I this fearless person she sees in me? Have I been worrying too long that people think negatively of me and think it’s impossible for someone to think something positive of me?
When talking with her, I told her that I, indeed, feel fear when I try new things. I have shared my story with joining The Little Black Dress Club many times – that I worried myself so much that I made my co-worker (another co-worker than the aforementioned co-worker), go with me just in case I felt like I didn’t belong, needed someone to talk to or wanted to escape. By the end of the night, I had found my people and officially joined the club that night when I got home. That was 2 1/2 years ago, and I am still loving the adventures that I experience with the club and the friends I have made within this amazing group of women.
I took a chance, and as weird as it may sound, sometimes I still feel like I take a chance when I sign up for events. If you only knew how many “What Ifs” go through my head before an event, you would think that I am a crazy person.
Okay, don’t comment on that last statement…unless you must.
I often try to talk myself out of new experiences before the time comes to actually be involved in the experience. It’s part social anxiety, part low self-esteem, part introversion, part who the heck know what else. Those negative thoughts comes from all sorts of places and presents itself in all sorts of ways.
But you know what? Every time I go through with it, I have experienced an adventure.
I may not feel like I am that fearless person my co-worker sees in me, but it’s there somewhere deep inside me. Any time I do something that scares me, even just a little, it’s an adventure. And that’s how I am going to start seeing life. Just like this blog tag line has read from the beginning, “…life is good but you can nearly miss it.”
I don’t want to miss out on life. Will you join me in my adventures?