Tag Archives: 31 Days

31 Days of Journaling Prompts: Marriage

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Day 5: Marriage

Let me just start this by saying that this post in no way is meant to be used as marriage advice. There are thousands, maybe millions of books, articles, blog posts, research…anything you can imagine out there for advice on marriage. I am certainly not an authority on the Do’s and Don’ts of marriage, so if you’re looking for that, then you won’t find it here.

I can, however, speak to my thoughts and experience on marriage. I was married for nearly 10 years previous to being married to David. I don’t talk about it too often, but I don’t exactly keep it a secret, either. I can say, without a doubt, that I don’t regret being married to my first husband, and I don’t regret our divorce, either. Like everything in life, I learned so much in my first marriage that living with regret would make those entire 12 years we were together feel like they never happened. All of the experiences that I had made me who I am today, as well as making me the wife I am to David now.

One piece of advice often given for marriage is to make sure that you communicate. It really seems like an obvious piece of advice but so often it doesn’t happen. There are so many factors involved in keeping communication open that we neglect the importance. You know, things like, ‘If I ask him to take out the trash, he’ll think I’m nagging him.’ ‘If I tell her that I don’t want to go, she’ll be upset with me.’ Seriously, I could list dozens of these.

Why do we hold back those thoughts? I know for me that there are times that I have learned to pick my battles. Sometimes it’s just not worth the energy to take the chance of causing discourse. Does that mean that I lack communication skills with my husband? No, but I do need to  be sure to express to him the ones that ARE the most important to me, otherwise it could lead to me resenting him for not caring about my feelings when he didn’t even know how important it is to me.

I recently learned that a couple we know will call a “Time Out” if they get into a heated argument and they are getting nowhere with it. They pause the argument, set a time, perhaps an hour or later in the day to reconnect and start communicating again. The time away from whatever has caused the argument cools them both down and makes them not only re-think their thoughts but also the importance of their side. I love this idea!

David and I often take our arguments to email for similar reasons. Instead of waiting for the other person to stop speaking so that we can speak our side, by taking it to email we read the other’s thoughts, process the information, then we speak our side. This might not work for everyone, but as I wrote previously, this works for us because much of our relationship has been via IM, email or text. We’re one of those couples who rarely speak on the phone unless something is wrong or we can’t text/email. Weird, huh?

So take my advice…HA! No, really! Like I said, my intention is not to give advice but instead speak from my own experiences. What works for us might not work for you, but then again maybe this will make you think about your own marriage or relationship and how you can make it work well for you.

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” – Friedrich Nietzsche 

What’s something unique about your marriage or relationship? Do you have some unconventional advice that you would like to share? What works for you?

Read more about the 31 Days of Journaling Prompts
Today’s recommended 31 Day Blogger: 31 Days To a Happy Marriage @ Kristen Living the Sweet Life

31 Days of Journaling Prompts: Motivation

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Day 4: Motivation

Sometimes I feel like the least motivated person in the world. It’s easy to get into that rut, though, especially when what you want seems so far out of reach. My husband often reminds me that I am much more motivated than I give myself credit. He’s good like that. He’s what keeps me going some days.

Since my surgery, I have definitely been more motivated to eat healthier and kick my butt to exercise, but MAN there are days that I just don’t want to do it! When this happens, my inner two-year old is having a major meltdown temper tantrum. Luckily on the outside I am mostly under control and people don’t notice that I’m slightly crazy in the head. It’s so much easier to just not track my food and skip the exercise, but then I remind myself that behavior like that is what got me to where I needed the surgery. By the way, weight loss surgery is NOT always the answer and it is definitely not the easy way out. I still have to work at it to lose the weight, and it’s not just magically falling off over night.

I have been overweight all of my life or at least as far as my memory goes. I don’t know what it’s like being a normal-sized person. You would think that is reason enough to motivate me, but it’s also what scares me. What if I can’t do it? What if I can’t make it to that point? What if I do make it then slowly get back into old habits? When thoughts like this pop into my head, it just makes me want to take the easy way out and give up. I don’t want to work so hard for nothing.

But it IS something, and I HAVE to keep going! Lately what motivates me the most is that I have stopped concentrating on how far I have to go and started looking at how far I’ve come. I am one-fourth of the way to reaching my weight loss goal. When I look at it that way, I realize that it’s something in which to be proud. I am going to keep going!

“You have a masterpiece inside you, too, you know. One unlike any that has ever been created, or ever will be. And remember: If you go to your grave without painting your masterpiece, it will not get painted. No one else can paint it. Only you.” — Gordon MacKenzie

What motivates you? Does it take a little or a lot to get you going? 

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Today’s recommended 31 Day Blogger: 31 Days To Write Your Story @ Lisa-Jo Baker

31 Days of Journaling Prompts: Habit

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Day 3: Habit

How many can identify with being a creature of habit? I think most everyone is to some extent. We find comfort in repetition and knowing that what we do will generate the same results. Or maybe that’s just me.

My husband has the same pancakes for breakfast and the same sandwich for lunch every day during the week. I’ve been known to do this for several weeks or months at a time, too, then suddenly one day I want something different. I like that my husband is predictable in that way. It certainly makes it easier for me to plan meals when I know what he likes and doesn’t like. We do our grocery shopping together, but if I ever had to do it on my own, then I would know exactly what to get for him.

But what happens when that ritual is broken for some reason? Do we get bent out of shape? Can we handle the change?

The sandwich that my husband used to buy for lunch suddenly started dwindling from the freezer section of the grocery store. He talked to the grocery manager, and they said they weren’t ordering it any more. Something similar had happened to him once before with some chicken pot pies that he liked for dinner when he was still single, but he found out that the company stopped making them. This time, however, the store just stopped ordering it, but oddly enough they told him that they would go to the competitor store and buy theirs to sell to him. Seriously? It was a little (no, a lot) weird that they would offer that, so we declined. He was somewhat bent out of shape when this first happened, but he ended up finding another sandwich to start taking for his lunch. Let’s hope they don’t stop making this one!

Good habits to get into are making schedules so that you’re never at a loss of where you’re supposed to be or what you’re supposed to be doing. I’ve been using Google Calendar since 2006, and it has saved me many times from missing out on something that I likely would forget. Making commitments to exercising on specific days has helped me, though I’m still working on it. I find that the less I dwell on making decisions and just doing things automatically, the better off I am at keeping with those good habits. If I know that every Thursday I am going to go to water aerobics, it makes it easier for me to not make other plans on Thursday evenings. I simply work better on a schedule and get more accomplished.

“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” – Samuel Johnson 

Are you more of a scheduled person or someone spontaneous? What habits have you formed that have been good for you? Do you have any bad habits that you need to change?

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Today’s recommended 31 Day Blogger: 31 Days of Good Books @ The Pentriloquist

31 Days of Journaling Prompts: Balance

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Day 2: Balance

Ah, balance. I’m not sure how balance ended up being the second on my list of journaling prompts. Perhaps it’s because my subconscious knew that I need to work on finding balance in my life. Lately I’ve not been content with some things in my life. It’s not that I’m unhappy but more along the lines of feeling like I need to get myself together. I’ve been reading and studying the Bible more lately, and I can honestly say that I feel like it is helping!  I’m finding God speaking to me through the words that I read and comforting me in the areas where I am not feeling content. It’s amazing how the answers seem to come when you’re open and ready to hear them.

Another balance that I’ve been working on is balancing my eating and exercising. As a compulsive overeater, I often turn to food for comfort. While weight loss surgery has helped this some, I will most likely always have this addiction. I find that if I recognize the problem that I am experiencing, I can sometimes find an alternative way of dealing with it that does not involve food. Journaling in my handwritten journal seems to be the best way to deal with it, but I don’t always turn to it. I’ve also found that keeping busy in the evenings will usually keep me from snacking. Watching tv and reading in bed is usually the worst time for me in regards to snacking, and those are two of my favorite things to do in the evening! When I exercise in the evening it usually helps curb my appetite, too. It’s win-win when I don’t find excuses not to exercise.

Balancing everything in life is a constant struggle that we all have to deal with. My tendency to take on too much at one time usually stems from boredom, and I overcompensate by looking for things to do and finding too much. Before I know it, I feel so overwhelmed that I can’t keep it all going, and I end up dropping everything. What comes next? Boredom…and the cycle begins again. I’m usually way into it before I realize that the cycle has restarted. Surely I’m not the only one who experiences this. We have to learn to prioritize our opportunities and learn to say, ‘No’ to the ones that don’t make the top of the list.

“Everyone spends their lives trying to balance their world between good and evil.” – Laurell K. Hamilton 

What do you do to keep in balance? Has there been a time in your life that you’ve taken on too much and just can’t keep going? 

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Today’s recommended 31 Day Blogger: 31 Days To A Healthier Life @ Eclectic What Not

31 Days of Journaling Prompts: Dreams

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Day 1: Dreams

My dreams are incredibly important to me, and when I say, ‘dreams,’ I truly mean the stories that entertain me when I sleep. Wait, it’s not that dreams and goals of my future aren’t important to me or anything. I just wanted to clarify that my first post for 31 Days of Journaling Prompts is about the dreams that the sandman directs.

I have always been fascinated with dreams, especially the meaning behind why my subconscious might be telling me a story. I know there’s all sorts of research and opinions about why we dream what we dream, and they’re probably all right in some way or another. For me, I feel that different dreams are in my subconscious for different reasons. Keep in mind, my list is my opinion and nothing else. You know opinions? Everyone has them.

  1. I firmly believe that when I dream of someone specific that it means that I need to check on that person to make sure that he or she is okay. Weird, I know. I don’t think I am psychic, have premonitions or anything like that. I don’t believe that my dream is some forecast of that person’s future. It’s simple. I feel like that the person popped into my dreams because it’s someone I might not have connected directly with recently, and my brain is saying that I need to do that. Only a few times have I contacted the person and specifically told the person that I had a dream about him or her. I mean, I don’t want to look like a freak! Thankfully with social media, I can now discreetly check up on that person through Facebook, perhaps send them a message or comment on something that he or she has said recently.And just so we’re clear, I only do this with people I know personally. I don’t track down the President or some big celebrity and contact them directly. I’m not THAT weird!
  2. I believe that dreams can also be a way for our minds to deal with problems that we might be experiencing when we’re awake. I hadn’t really thought about this one much until I spoke with a psychologist about the meaning of dreams last year. It really makes sense to me. Our entire days are stored in our brains, and often times we have conflicts or tasks that don’t come to completion or ever experience closure. I believe our minds can only store so much incompleteness that it begins to work those things out on it’s own. Hey, I consider this one a blessing! Dealing with my problems in my sleep is like multitasking!
  3. Finally, I believe that some dreams have no real meaning at all. Maybe they’re just there for entertainment or for the mind to take a mini vacation. These are usually those dreams that don’t make much sense when we’re awake and make us stop to say, “What the heck was that?”

I love it when I can remember dreams and feel like I “got something” out of the experience. When I was growing up, my mom told us not to tell our dreams before breakfast unless we wanted them to come true. My husband had never heard that, so he thinks it’s silly. I know it’s a superstition, but still to this day I keep my dreams to myself until after breakfast unless I want it to come true. Of course, I’ve usually forgotten about it by the time I’ve had breakfast, so maybe that’s the point. If it was a bad dream, and you tell someone then you’re more likely to remember, but if you wait then you’ll probably forget about it.

“The interpretation of dreams is the royal road to a knowledge of the unconscious activities of the mind.” – Sigmund Freud 

What are your thoughts on dreams? Can you usually remember what you dreamt the night before?

Read more about the 31 Days of Journaling Prompts
Today’s recommended 31 Day Blogger: 31 Random Acts of Kindness @ Life Faith and God

31 Days of Journaling Prompts

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For the month of October, I am going to participate in writing on a single topic for 31 days. The idea came from The Nester. I had a really hard time coming up with a topic that I felt like I knew well enough to write about for 31 days. I looked through last year’s participants for ideas, and then I looked through them again before I really decided what I wanted to do.

Since I like Five Minute Friday and almost always participate in those, I am going to go with that style and theme. I have written a list of 31 one-word journaling prompts that I am going to write about this month, one day at a time. Since my writing has been rather sporadic lately, and I seem to start posts and never finish them, I’m hoping that this will keep me inspired to write daily.

Would you like to pick a topic and join in? Pick a topic that you feel comfortable writing about for 31 days. The Nester suggests picking a topic that is broad enough that you can write 31 posts about it without getting sick of it, but specific enough that it feels like a series. Consider having a really specific title. There are no rules! YAY! She also has some buttons that you can snag to edit with your title. There are hundreds of people participating in the 31 Day Challenge, so we’re in good company!

Would you like to participate in 31 Days of Journaling Prompts? I have listed all of the month’s prompts below for you to plan out in advance, or if you want to be spontaneous I’ll post the day’s entry everyday at 12:01 am, so you will know in plenty of time what the day’s topic is. I have a button below that you can snag and upload it for your own use.

The Complete List:
Day 1 – Dreams
Day 2 – Balance
Day 3 – Habit
Day 4 – Motivation
Day 5 – Marriage
Day 6 – Vacation
Day 7 – Green
Day 8 – Family
Day 9 – Volunteer
Day 10 – Love
Day 11 – Introversion
Day 12 – Acceptance
Day 13 – Peace
Day 14 – Mentor
Day 15 – Exercise
Day 16 – Pets (Dogs)
Day 16 – Pets (Cats)
Day 17 – Strength
Day 18 – Gratitude
Day 19 – Confessions
Day 20 – Cooking
Day 21 – Fall
Day 22 – Winter
Day 23 – Spring
Day 24 – Summer
Day 25 – Writing
Guest Post – On Being A Writer
Day 26 – Joy
Day 27 – Excuses
Day 28 – Contentment
Day 29 – Inspiration
Day 30 – Potential
Day 31 – Future