Day 25: Writing
Today’s journaling prompt was supposed to be about Health, but I had some serious writer’s block when it came to that topic for a couple of different reasons. One is that I just wasn’t feeling the words flow out of my head and into my fingertips. Another reason is that I feel that I’ve already covered the topic of Health through a couple of other days this month, like Motivation and Exercise. Besides, what else can I say about the subject?
I struggled for a couple of days on what to write about. I really enjoyed writing about what the seasons mean to me, so I guess it was kind of a let down to go from excited writing to dreaded writing. I toyed with a couple of ideas, including addiction, extended family and more about gardening. Finally, I came up with Writing. Why not write about what writing means to me?
My mom has been commented recently on my posts. She has always enjoyed reading what I write and likes to talk about how I would write several sentences for spelling word definitions when only a few words were necessary. For as long as I can remember, I have enjoyed reading, with the exception of high school and college when SO MUCH READING was required.
When I was in elementary school, I decided that E.B. White hadn’t told the complete story of Charlotte, and I was determined that I was the one to complete that story. Another boy in my class agreed to be my artist. I wish I knew what happened to that story that we put together. Charlotte’s Web is still one of my favorite books.
A few years later when I was around 12, I wrote a series of short stories based on the same group of characters. It started out being similar to The Babysitters Club (LOVED those books at that age!) but evolved into a little more than just a repeat of Ann M. Martin’s work. I think I wrote 12 or 13 ‘books’ in that series. A few friends in my class would read them, and at that age, I just knew that I would get them published someday. I’m pretty sure that they are all still at my parent’s house…somewhere!
Sometime around junior high, I lost that sense of creativity and imagination, or maybe I just matured and that creativity and imagination changed with age. I continued to read some, but with so much required reading over the next several years I didn’t read much for pleasure again until after I graduated from college. My writing during that time had ceased beyond the writing required for school.
Off and on over the years, I have kept various diaries. With the internet becoming more mainstream, in 2002 I looked for an online diary and eventually discovered LiveJournal. Back then, you had to be invited by an existing user to get an account on LiveJournal, and there were only a certain number of people one could invite, so you had to invite your friends carefully so you didn’t waste those invite codes. I wrote regularly in LiveJournal for about 5 years, making lots of friends and also meeting the guy who would become my husband several years later. I still have a LiveJournal account but my writing there has lost it’s frequency, especially now that I am writing publicly now.
The dream of becoming a published author has come and gone several times over the years, but for the last several years it’s been gone. While I deeply enjoy this form of creativity, I have no real desire at this time to be published, have a career in writing or pen a novel. I fear that if writing ever became a job for me that I would lose interest in it all together. I also lack confidence that there are many people who want to read what I have to say, and I would end up disappointed.
So here I am. Blogging and private journaling is what works for me. I enjoy reading comments that other people post and love knowing that someone has taken the time to read my words, but most of all this is my creative outlet, and this is what works for me. And you know what? I guess I am published, because every time I end a blog post, I click the Publish button. That’s really all I need right now.
“Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.” – Graham Greene
What is your creative outlet? Do you have dreams of being a published author?