Wow! The topic of Expectation is just what I needed to write about this morning, despite being a few days late in participating. I had been feeling slightly guilty for not posting more regularly here, but now I realize that it was the high expectations I place on myself that was churning up the guilt monster. One thing I can say for sure is that I blog for my own pleasure…to get the words out of my head. I know most bloggers blog so that someone will read their words or pleasing their sponsors or get more followers….and that’s cool! That’s what they hope to achieve from their blog. For me, it’s for the clarity of my mind. I love receiving comments and knowing people are reading my thoughts, but I don’t feel like a failure if I don’t.
I’m still battling headaches. I saw my doctor last week, and she thinks it’s from my severe TMJ. So as of Wednesday, I am taking muscle relaxers at bed time and haven’t had a single OTC pain reliever, such as ibuprofen or naproxen. I’m still having headaches, but I’m hoping that it’s from the rebound headaches that come when you have taken NSAIDs on a regular basis….for years. My doctor said that it could take a month for them to get out of my system, so I’m just trying to take it easy lately when I have headaches instead of turning to the pill bottle.
The GoodReads daily quote this morning also spoke to me and my questioning of faith.
“It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.” — Anne Frank
That is an amazing combination of words (which is all quotes REALLY are) that mean so much to me lately and from an amazingly strong young woman! I hope to keep that in mind today and the next time my faith, morals or beliefs are questioned by someone else or even myself.
Have a good day, my friends! It’s so much better than the alternative!
3 thoughts on “Clarity”
Self-expectation and guilt feelings about not blogging regularly really got me yesterday! I pushed ahead and posted just because of that pressure, and EW! Reading it this morning early made me blush with embarrassment! It was the worst-done thing I think I’ve ever let anyone read, even though I’d worked long and laboriously on it! I trashed it and rewrote the whole thing, and this time, in the gentle leading of God’s Spirit. What a difference!
You are so right: Human expectation, self- or otherwise, is not a good motivation!
Thank you for sharing, Sylvia! It’s so nice to know that I am not alone when it comes to those guilt feelings when I don’t blog regularly. I’ve found that when hobbies start to feel like jobs, then I lose interest in them. That’s why I am trying to keep this as a hobby. I’ve been approached a couple of times to have sponsors or to try this product and blog about it, but I know in the end it will mean that I no longer enjoy writing.
I’m glad you recognized that the Guilt Monster had attacked you yesterday but don’t let it get to you. You can’t change the past, but you can certainly learn from it for the future. However, I suppose in your case you were able to delete the post, but you know what I mean 🙂