introversion | Frogdiva Dot Com

It’s about time I reprise this blog. For way too long, I have felt as if I didn’t have anything worth writing. I worried too much about what people would think about my writing, if anyone at all was reading and thinking too much about a blog being like a business.

This blog is not my job. This blog is my creative outlet.

Not long ago, a co-worker said that she was asked to describe her co-workers. I don’t know the context of the conversation, but what my co-worker shared has stayed with me. She said that she described me as someone who isn’t afraid of trying something new and that she wishes she could be like that.

What? Really? Me? I tend to think that I am someone who is indecisive and has to think everything out before making a decision…sometimes to the point of making the decision so big that it becomes pointless. Am I this fearless person she sees in me? Have I been worrying too long that people think negatively of me and think it’s impossible for someone to think something positive of me?

When talking with her, I told her that I, indeed, feel fear when I try new things. I have shared my story with joining The Little Black Dress Club many times – that I worried myself so much that I made my co-worker (another co-worker than the aforementioned co-worker), go with me just in case I felt like I didn’t belong, needed someone to talk to or wanted to escape. By the end of the night, I had found my people and officially joined the club that night when I got home. That was 2 1/2 years ago, and I am still loving the adventures that I experience with the club and the friends I have made within this amazing group of women.

I took a chance, and as weird as it may sound, sometimes I still feel like I take a chance when I sign up for events. If you only knew how many “What Ifs” go through my head before an event, you would think that I am a crazy person.

Okay, don’t comment on that last statement…unless you must.

I often try to talk myself out of new experiences before the time comes to actually be involved in the experience. It’s part social anxiety, part low self-esteem, part introversion, part who the heck know what else. Those negative thoughts comes from all sorts of places and presents itself in all sorts of ways.

But you know what? Every time I go through with it, I have experienced an adventure.

I may not feel like I am that fearless person my co-worker sees in me, but it’s there somewhere deep inside me. Any time I do something that scares me, even just a little, it’s an adventure. And that’s how I am going to start seeing life. Just like this blog tag line has read from the beginning, “…life is good but you can nearly miss it.”

I don’t want to miss out on life. Will you join me in my adventures?

4 years ago, I took a left turn onto a dirt road in the desert of Arizona. By.myself! I was scared as the road twisted, turned and went up and down hills. At the end was one of the most beautiful views I have seen in my life. This was the beginning of many adventures, and I always go back to this memory when I worry about fear.

4 years ago, I took a left turn onto a dirt road in the desert of Arizona.ALONE!

I was scared as the road twisted, turned and went up and down hills. At the end was one of the most beautiful views I have seen in my life. This was the beginning of many adventures, and I always go back to this memory when I worry about fear.

Day 11: Introversion

I make it no secret that I identify as an introvert. This hasn’t always been the case, but it has somewhat to do with what I thought an introvert is. I used to think that an introvert is someone shy, incredibly awkward and unable to talk to people. So I might have the awkward thing down, but I am not shy, and I love talking to people. Most all of the jobs that I’ve ever had has been a customer service-oriented job, and I love helping people! So with that definition and the kind of person I am, it’s no wonder that I didn’t realize that I am an introvert.

So what is an introvert? The best description that I have seen of it is through a comic drawn by artist SVeidt on DeviantArt. (Click on the comic to be taken to the original drawing where you can zoom to see it better.)

The part that I identify with the most is that I am re-energized by spending time alone, and it drains me to be around people for long periods of time. It doesn’t mean that I don’t like spending time with people, though I do prefer spending time with only one or a few people at a time. I usually spend my alone time reading, watching tv or surfing the internet. When I am out of the house and on-the-go too much, I long to be at home to re-gain my energy. When I don’t have sufficient time to get that energy back, I tend to withdraw and become cranky.

I still love to spend time with my friends, and in the past year my husband and I have started hanging out with other introvert friends. It started with a couple of dinner plans and was nicknamed The Introvert Supper Club. Now the group gets together, usually at our house, once every month or two for birthdays, food and game nights. A few of us are taking a water aerobics class together, too. The cool thing about it is that we all understand the need for alone time and don’t usually hound anyone who can’t make it because there’s too much already going on.

Out of my immediate family, my mom is the only one of us who is extroverted. She loves being out and about with things to do, people to see and places to go. My Dad and brother are both introverts, too, and prefer to stay at home most of the time. I totally didn’t see this growing up but can definitely pinpoint times where it was pure torture for her to drag us out of the house sometimes. Unfortunately she still doesn’t get it and tends to think she’s introverted, only because she has a messed up idea of what it is. I have hope one day that she’ll understand that it’s not usually the event or her or something more than just needing some alone time that keeps us from wanting to get out.

I wrote briefly about Being Inside My Introvert Bubble a couple of weeks ago. It’s also got some good pointers on How To Care For Introverts.

Do you identify more with introversion or extroversion? Is there someone in your life who identifies with the other? How do you deal with the difference?

“Introverts treasure the close relationships they have stretched so much to make.” ― Adam S. McHugh